Suffering In Silence

Everyday we watch the news or read the paper and find another case of violence against women. This is not to say that there isn’t violence against men, it just seems that typically, when you read about a man being beaten or killed it isn’t because they were targeted specifically based on their gender. Granted there are many cases of violence against gay men, but with regard to Crenshaw’s definition of intersectionality, the fact that the man is gay is just another layer of his identity that makes him more vulnerable to violence; more like a female.

Crenshaw notes “….violence that many women experience is often shaped by other dimensions of their identities such as race and class” (IWS 200). I have been extremely sheltered and never thought of myself as naïve but my eyes were opened after reading, and re-reading, the writings by Allison, Clarkson and Crenshaw. It’s not JUST about race or class or religion, it’s about the privileges and prejudices caused when we mix them all together. In the grand scheme of things, who would imagine that the circumstances of birth would determine the chances of a women being beaten, raped, or killed. It’s easy for me to say “why would you stay with a man who hits or rapes you?”. I have the resources and family support to make sure that it never happens to me or, if it did, that it never happened twice. Women that have not been afforded the support of family or economic security may not have this kind of confidence. Two small but important layers to my identity.

Our identity as a woman is shaped initially by birth (race, economic status, geographic location) and then as we mature we add layers to that such as sexual preference, education, religion and political views. Societal views play a major role as well. How many of us can read The Good Wife's Guide from the May, 1955 Housekeeping Monthly with a straight face? The fact that phrases such as "A good wife always knows her place" and "You have no right to question him" are actually in print is perverse! Unfortunately, there are still cultures that see this as the norm. In many cultures, women’s fates are perpetuated because they aren't educated enough to KNOW they have basic human rights. While the continued oppression of women in many countries is a popular topic, we have the same things happening in areas of the United States that go unnoticed. Dorothy Allison wrote of the abuse she experienced at the hands of her stepfather but she suffered in silence for years before coming to terms with it. She came from a poor family that, like many in the Carolina regions, believed that without exception, the man was the dominant force of the household . “I am not supposed to talk about hating that man when I grew up to be a lesbian, a dyke, stubborn, competitive and perversely lustful” (Allison, 45).

Rape and violence are used as forms of control; take away someone’s dignity and you take away their self respect.